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1.1 root 1: # FARB
2: #
3: # Generate farberism
4: #
5: # Ralph E. Griswold
6: #
7: # Last modified 2/1/86
8: #
9: #
10:
11: # This program is broken into procedures in an arbitrary way to allow
12: # it to be translated on computers with limited address spaces.
13: #
14:
15: procedure main()
16: &random := map(&clock,":","0")
17: write(??[farb1(),farb2(),farb3(),farb4()])
18: end
19:
20: procedure farb1()
21: return [
22: "I enjoy his smiling continence.",
23: "Picasso wasn't born in a day.",
24: "I'll be there with spades on.",
25: "Beware a Trojan bearing a horse.",
26: "A hand in the bush is worth two anywhere else.",
27: "All the lemmings are going home to roost.",
28: "Anybody who marries her would stand out like a sore thumb.",
29: "Before they made him they broke the mold.",
30: "He's casting a red herring on the face of the water.",
31: "Clean up or fly right.",
32: "Come down off your charlie horse.",
33: "Don't burn your bridges until you come to them.",
34: "Don't count your chickens until the barn door is closed.",
35: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do standing up in a hammock.",
36: "Don't get your eye out of joint.",
37: "Don't just stand there like a sitting duck.",
38: "Don't look a mixed bag in the mouth.",
39: "Don't look at me in that tone of voice.",
40: "Don't make a molehill out of a can of beans.",
41: "Don't make a tempest out of a teapot."
42: ]
43: end
44:
45: procedure farb2()
46: return [
47: "Don't upset the apple pie.",
48: "Every cloud has a blue horizon.",
49: "She's faster than the naked eye.",
50: "Feather your den with somebody else's nest.",
51: "From here on up, it's down hill all the way.",
52: "Go fly your little red wagon somewhere else.",
53: "Half a worm is better than none.",
54: "He doesn't know which side his head is buttered on.",
55: "He has feet of molasses.",
56: "He hit the nose right on the head.",
57: "He knows which side his pocketbook is buttered on.",
58: "He smokes like a fish.",
59: "He was hoisted by a skyhook on his own petard!",
60: "He was putrified with fright.",
61: "He would forget his head if it weren't screwed up.",
62: "He's as happy as a pig at high tide.",
63: "He's been living off his laurels for years.",
64: "He's got a rat's nest by the tail.",
65: "He's got four sheets in the wind.",
66: "He's letting ground grow under his feet.",
67: "He's lying through his britches.",
68: "He's procrastinating like a bandit.",
69: "He's reached the crescent of his success.",
70: "He's so far above me I can't reach his bootstraps.",
71: "He's too smart for his own bootstraps.",
72: "His foot is in his mouth up to his ear.",
73: "History is just a repetition of the past.",
74: "I apologize on cringed knees.",
75: "I don't know which dagger to clothe it in.",
76: "I hear the handwriting on the wall.",
77: "I wouldn't marry her with a twenty-foot pole.",
78: "I'll procrastinate when I get around to it.",
79: "I'm going to throw myself into the teeth of the gamut.",
80: "I'm parked somewhere in the boondoggles."
81: ]
82: end
83:
84: procedure farb3()
85: return [
86: "I'm walking on cloud nine.",
87: "I've got to put my duff to the grindstone.",
88: "I've had it up to the hilt.",
89: "If Calvin Coolidge were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave.",
90: "If the onus fits, wear it.",
91: "Is he an Amazon!",
92: "It fills a well-needed gap.",
93: "It is better to have tried and failed than never to have failed at all.",
94: "It looks like it's going to go on ad infinitum for a while.",
95: "It sounds like roses to my ears.",
96: "It's a caterpillar in pig's clothing.",
97: "It's a fiat accompli.",
98: "It's a fool's paradise wrapped in sheep's clothing.",
99: "It's a monkey wrench in your ointment.",
100: "It's a new high in lows.",
101: "It's bouncing like a greased pig.",
102: "It's enough to make you want to rot your socks.",
103: "It's like talking to a needle in a haystack.",
104: "It's like trying to light a fire under a lead camel.",
105: "It's not his bag of tea.",
106: "It's so unbelieveable you wouldn't believe it.",
107: "Just because it's there, you don't have to mount it.",
108: "Keep your ear peeled!",
109: "Let's not drag any more dead herrings across the garden path.",
110: "Let's skin another can of worms.",
111: "Look at the camera and say `bird'.",
112: "Look before you turn the other cheek.",
113: "Men, women, and children first!",
114: "Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows.",
115: "Never feed a hungry dog an empty loaf of bread.",
116: "No rocks grow on Charlie.",
117: "No sooner said, the better.",
118: "Nobody could fill his socks.",
119: "Nobody is going to give you the world in a saucer.",
120: "Nobody marches with the same drummer.",
121: "Not by the foggiest stretch of the imagination!",
122: "Not in a cocked hat, you don't!",
123: "People in glass houses shouldn't call the kettle black.",
124: "Put it on the back of the stove and let it simper."
125: ]
126: end
127:
128: procedure farb4()
129: return [
130: "Put the onus on the other foot.",
131: "Rome wasn't built on good intentions alone.",
132: "She has eyes like two holes in a burnt blanket.",
133: "She's a virgin who has never been defoliated.",
134: "She's trying to feather her own bush.",
135: "Somebody's flubbing his dub.",
136: "It's steel wool and a yard wide.",
137: "Straighten up or fly right.",
138: "Strange bedfellows flock together.",
139: "That's a bird of a different color.",
140: "That's a horse of a different feather.",
141: "That's a sight for deaf ears.",
142: "That's the way the old ball game bounces.",
143: "The die has been cast on the face of the waters.",
144: "The early bird will find his can of worms.",
145: "The foot that rocks the cradle is usually in the mouth.",
146: "The onus is on the other foot.",
147: "The whole thing is a hairy potpourri.",
148: "There are enough cooks in the pot already.",
149: "There's a dark cloud on every rainbow's horizon.",
150: "There's a flaw in the ointment.",
151: "There's going to be hell and high water to pay.",
152: "They don't stand a teabag's chance in hell.",
153: "They sure dipsied his doodle.",
154: "This ivory tower we're living in is a glass house.",
155: "Time and tide strike but once.",
156: ]
157: end
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